Why is it my son cannot have a normal toddler accident? Everything that happens to him is bizarre .... like his ear swelling up twice its size. Or when he fell on the deck and banged his tooth, which is now dead.

Or like last night, when he sat on a 2-inch splinter that went straight up his butt.

Guess who has a SpongeBob SquarePants Band-Aid on his right buttock? That would be my son ... here's hoping the splinter is out because I really don't want to explain this one to the doctor.